Crapple Cake

I experimented a bit with the Tropical Coffee Cake recipe, and would love to share how it came out. But Scott is at work and I promised I wouldn't eat it without him. So far, all I can tell you is that it smells delicious, and it's so pretty!




As you can see in the photo, the coconut is still there. I replaced the nutmeg with cinnamon, and changed the pineapple (which was supposed to be mango but never was) for granny smith apple and a handful of Craisins that were nuked with some apple juice to reconstitute them a bit.


Strangely enough, I grossly overestimated the number of apples required to yield 1 cup of chunks. See, in my mind, a whole apple would almost fit in a cup. That meant that after removing the skin and the core, the apple would only fill 1/2 cup. Amazingly enough, chopping the apple actually made it take up MORE space! The bonus to this lesson is that I had a bowl of chopped apple and cranberry bits while the cake was in the oven.

I'll be back in the morning with the results. Fingers crossed...

Update: While the Crapple Cake isn't necessarily crap-tastic, it also isn't apple-icious. It is decidedly bland. At first, Scott thought it wasn't sweet enough, but I just had a piece for breakfast and didn't find it un-sweet. I know for sure that the cranberries add absolutely no flavor - just a splash of color. Perhaps the pineapple added more flavor than the apple did. Maybe the cinnamon couldn't hold its own in place of the nutmeg. I guess I should have looked up the seasoning that goes into an apple pie and used that for reference.

On the bright side, the apples cooked through nicely. The cake is still moist and dense. If I can get the seasoning right, and maybe replace the healthy coconut on top with a buttery crumble, this will be a helluva apple cake.

Avec Eric

It's no secret that I have a culinary crush on Eric Ripert. Honestly, if I'm going to be stranded on a desert island, he would be on my "who would you bring?" short list. After all, I could close my eyes and listen to him talk, and then open my eyes to eat whatever he cooks for me!


Eric has a blog that I have now added to our blog roll, with some entries that include videos called "Get Toasted," all about cooking for one (or two) in the toaster oven. Of course, his toaster oven of choice costs nearly $300... but think of the money you would eventually save on electricity by not heating an entire oven!

Kitchen Safety

We have no new recipes to share today. Scott's work schedule is askew this week and he hasn't had a day off yet, so we probably won't make it to the store until Thursday. I was planning on making the Country Apricot Tart last week, but I left my dozen apricots in their plastic bag a few days too long and they rotted.

So... I thought I'd post a little about stupid kitchen injuries. We have already discussed the perils of grabbing the probe thermometer with our bare fingers. And just this morning, I learned that the stove top gets really hot after you've had the big front burner on medium-high for 45 minutes. I learned this lesson through a wet paper towel. Ahh, steam-cleaned finger tips!

Of course, I should have realized that the drips of pancake batter that I had spilled were actually turning into mini pancakes right there on the stove. I guess I had it coming.

...sort of like how Scott had it coming when he decided not to bother with the hand guard when he was julienning some zucchini with the mandolin. The result? Julienne Hand. Look for it on a menu near you!

Perfect parallel cuts...the mark of a true artist!

Chicken and Prosciutto Roll-Ups

p. 87

I officially hate pounding meat. This is the second week in a row that I found myself throwing a temper tantrum in the kitchen because things weren't going my way. But alas, I think I'm getting ahead of myself.

I picked this recipe because I thought it would be a good use for my new-found meat pounding skills (and by the way, is anyone else giggling every time I use the phrase "meat pounding?") and it would be a good way to practice my slimy raw meat roll-up skills.

The recipe calls for chicken breasts, prosciutto, fontina cheese and a jar of roasted red peppers. There's also a "sauce," but we'll get to that later. We were able to find all of the ingredients except the fontina cheese at Publix. And silly us, we didn't bother to look up substitutions because we didn't know we needed to! So we got a block of fontinella cheese instead. At least it had all the right letters!

Side note: according to Wikipedia (sorry, no Food Lover's Companion at home), fontina is a soft cheese, and gouda and gruyere are reasonable substitutions. Fontinella doesn't exist. Fontinella has a texture somewhere between parmiggiano and cheddar. And it tastes like a parmi-swiss combination.

The recipe starts with the creation of the "sauce." I used the quotes because I can't see how white wine and thyme (yep...full ingredient list) qualify as a sauce. You put the thyme in the wine and set aside for future basting. Oops...no thyme in the house! So I substituted sage.

And then we get to the meat pounding part. I carefully lay out my bottom layer of plastic wrap, place my (eww! gross! slimy! raw!) chicken breast in the center, and lay another piece of plastic wrap. And then I pound for a minute. And then I have to slide the chicken back into the middle because it's slippery. And then I pound. And then I slide. And this goes on for almost 10 minutes per breast.

The book likes to tell me to pound meat into rectangles. I would LOVE to pound meat into rectangles. But my chicken bits ended up looking more like jagged hearts with the occasional torn lobe. They were ugly. I was frustrated. And poor Scott wanted to leave home and come back when the food was done. I don't blame him! Of course, since my hands were covered with chicken bacteria, and since Scott was wisely avoiding this process, there is no photographic evidence of just how bad my flat chicken looked!

I used the vegetable peeler to make long wide strips of cheese for the stuffing. I put Scott in charge of touching the prosciutto, since he wasn't all chickeney. I sliced one roasted red pepper into strips. And then we assembled.

Chicken breast down, prosciutto down, cheese down. I made two without the red peppers for Scott. Mine got one tiny row of red pepper across the bottom. And then you roll 'em up. We used toothpicks this time to secure the roll-ups.

say it with me now, "eww...raw chicken..."

The recipe calls for these to be cooked out on the grill. Sadly, our grill no longer exists, so Scott cooked them on the grill pan. (yep - I totally justified this - since we weren't following the prescribed cooking method, then it was ok for Scott to step in and cook) The "sauce" was to be applied 5-10 minutes before the end of the grilling, so I had Scott brush it on. Oh the smell! I don't know why, but the combination of white wine and cooking chicken (or maybe the cheese...) made the whole dish smell kind of pukey.

The recipe recommends that you serve the chicken over spinach fettuccine. No mention of butter/olive oil/sauce. So we made a quick semi-pomodoro with a can of tomatoes and the left-over zucchini from Scott's pesto chicken. Oh - and we used regular fettuccine because Publix didn't have the green kind... not even in the cold case.

The cheese was a total miss for me. It was ok when piping hot, but as it cooled, it developed that swiss-cheese twang that I really don't like. I couldn't tell you whether the wine added anything, but I think maybe it helped the chicken achieve its golden brown crust. The best part? Scott realizing that the pieces with the red pepper were better than the pieces without the red pepper!

Mustard-Dill Fish Fillets

P. 163

Ever heard the phrase "truth in advertising?" Yeah... remember that phrase.

Last weeks recipe was straight forward and simple, fish cooked en papillote. Now, since I know Janette is going to make fun of me for my word selection, en papillote simply means that it is cooked in a pouch made of parchment paper, thereby steaming the item and sealing in the juices and flavors inside the pouch.

During our weekly outing to the store, we stopped by the seafood counter and found some really nice Mahi fillets that were reasonably priced, so we got two, along with some snow crab that was on sale... but that's not part of the ingredients for the dish! :D The recipe says you can use frozen after it's thawed, but really, if you have a seafood department that has some good looking stuff in it, use it!

The prep for this one is simple. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Slice a lemon into about eight slices, chop some dill weed, or use dry if you prefer, drain some capers, and have your sous chef (lmao) cut two sheets of parchment paper into nice heart shapes. Lay your new heart shaped parchment out and place four of your lemon slices in the center of one half of each heart. Season your fish of choice with lemon pepper (not too much, there's LOTS of pepper in it!), and place the fillets on top of the lemon. Sprinkle on your dill and then your capers which have been drained. You then seal your papillote by folding the edges over a few times to make a nice seal. Place on a baking sheet, and bake for about 12 minutes.

The down side to cooking fish in a pouch is that you have to open the pouch to make sure the fish is done, but really, use a 1/2 inch thick piece and cook as directed, and it'll be perfect! It's also after opening the pouch that you'll remember you completely forgot to add those capers... but it's all good, Jamie doesn't like them that much, and it really didn't seem like it was much of a loss. The fish was moist, flaky, and lemony. I went a little heavy on the lemon pepper, you know, flashbacks to the NON seasoned pesto chicken I guess, so this was a bit spicy, but still good. I made some brown rice and green beans to accompany, and remember those crab legs? Yeah, they were tasty as well, if a bit messy!

The great part of cooking en papillote is clean up... pick up the parchment, being careful to not spill anything inside of it, place into garbage, repeat for each one. Wipe down your cookie sheet. Done!

The only thing I would change about this one would be watching the seasoning next time. Other than that, this was a success. Oh, and the truth in advertising comment? Yeah, you would think there would be MUSTARD in mustard-dill fish; dry, yellow, dijon... something! But no loss in my opinion! Oh... And I need to remind myself to take pictures of the whole process! Yeesh!

Pesto Chicken Breasts with Summer Squash

Page 49.

I cooked this one last week, 06/04. Going back to the apple fritter post, again, I am the "chef" of the family, so leave it to me to pick the cooking for beginners recipe. *insert head shake here.*

I picked this one because Jamie likes pesto. I figured, "well, chicken and pesto, that's a winner, can't really go wrong here! And there's cheese on it as well! Psh, good times!!"

I won't do this for every post, but I really think I should list all the ingredients to this one. All of them... keep that in mind. Chicken breasts, pesto (they suggest store bought), chopped zucchini and/or summer squash, and asiago or Parmesan cheese. Yeah, that's all. Notice anything missing? I did, but thought "they obviously know what they're doing!

So, instead of using store bought pesto, I decided to make it myself. I mean, it's not hard. I have a basil plant on the balcony, we have all the ingredients in the house, and Jamie just busted out the Magic Bullet! Pesto was a success.

So, I followed their directions... Have you ever sauteed chicken and it only taken four minutes per side? I don't know that I ever timed it before, but yeah, if I had done that this time, I'm pretty sure I would be posting this from the hospital dealing with the salmonella poisoning, telling you to never EVER try this... for THAT reason. It recommends four minutes, then turn the chicken, placing your chopped veggies, zucchini julienned on my mandolin (I LOVE that thing!) in this case, and cook for another four minutes. Yeah, needless to say the cooking time was increased sllliiiiggghhhtttllyyy.

Anyway, after that, you take out the chicken and slather on some of your pesto, then top it with your cheese. And that's it! Serve that bad boy up, and everyone enjoy! Right? I mean, if you can get past the subtle green theme to your meal that is....





Did you notice a lack of salt? Pepper? Any other type or seasonings? Yeah. I actually re-read the recipe about four times, just looking to see where they threw that in and I missed it. Nope. Not there. Granted, pesto has some flavor to it... but not enough for a chicken breast let me tell you. Jamie and I both said the same thing... that is some GOOD zucchini! And the rest of the chicken breasts sat in the fridge until this past weekend. I "made" some focaccia, aka I took a Pillsbury french loaf and manhandled it into a not loaf shape, put on some olive oil and herbs, and baked it. Took that, sliced it into a giant sandwich, made some more pesto, and put on some cheese and made a paninni with the leftover chicken. THAT my friends, was a success.

So, the next time you are looking at a recipe saying to yourself, "surely the meant to have some salt and pepper, or SOMETHING..." trust your instincts... really.

Tropical Coffee Cake

p. 247

I made this coffee cake on Tuesday night, for breakfast Wednesday morning. Of course, when I read the "serve warm" on the directions, Scott and I each had a small slice... for the sake of experimentation!

First of all, the actual cake recipe calls for mango. Since Scott and I are both a little hesitant about mango, I decided on fresh pineapple instead. And believe it or not, that's the only substitution I made here!

This is one of those pesky recipes that wants you to use AP flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Generally, I just use self-rising and cross my fingers, but this time I followed the directions. I also sifted the dry ingredients (those above, plus sugar and nutmeg) in my new sifter. The sugar or the nutmeg jammed the holes, and some shaking and banging were necessary.

The wet ingredients for this cake included plain yogurt, oil and just one egg. And when mixed together with the dry, the batter was extremely thick. It was mid-way between cookie dough and muffin mix. In fact, staring at the bowl with my brow furrowed, I re-read the ingredient list at least two more times looking for the cup of water or milk that I forgot to add. But alas, there were no missing ingredients.

I tossed the pineapple (which Scott was nice enough to dice for me) with a tablespoon of flour, and "gently folded" it into the batter. I literally had to spread the batter all the way to the edges of the cake pan because it wanted to stay in a near-ball in the center of the pan.

I sprinkled a generous handful of coconut on the top (I think the recipe called for 2 T., but why bother?) and put it in the oven.

OMG the smell! I looked at Scott about 20 minutes into the baking process and told him I was going to make this again no matter how it tasted because it smelled so wonderful. I think it was the nutmeg. Or maybe the browning coconut.

The cake actually cooked in the time recommended in the recipe - a pleasant surprise because I was supposed to use a 9" cake pan and we only own 8" pans. Hmm... I guess that makes two substitutions!

My impressions of this cake are overall quite positive. The batter itself is a perfect blank canvas for just about any fruit filling. I'm tempted to substitute cinnamon for the nutmeg and apples for the "mango." Heck - maybe just add whatever is in season! It was moist, flavorful, and beautiful.

Scott and I both got bites that were heavy on the nutmeg, but that's definitely user error. I was proud that there was no issue with the baking soda/powder. My previous experience has definitely been negative, with results tasting soapy or salty. This time, everything was just right. And the cake rose nicely.

This cake is definitely something I'll make again. It was so good that I might even make it for the next pot luck at work!

Autumn Apple Fritters

P. 273.

This is the dessert we had the night of the yummy pork dish Jamie did last week. So, leave it to me, the "experienced chef," to pick quite possibly the easiest recipe out of the entire cookbook to start with, while she picked one of the more difficult ones. The prep was pretty darn simple. The fritters were super easy. First off, get some oil in a pot and heat it up...

Small aside... That's pretty much the reason I did this one, and Jamie never would. Jamie hates frying anything. There had been a minor frying accident not too long after we were married in which I let the oil heat up wayyyyy too hot prior to frying some french fries, and we all know what happens when you introduce a frozen fry to screaming hot oil, don't we? That's right, immediately the oil boils over to the burner, causing a small flash over, lots of smoke, and some freaking out of those around... No fires, just a permanent fear of frying from Jamie.

Anyway, back to this incident. The mise for the dish is simple:

Core two baking style apples, in this instance, Granny Smiths. I used my mandolin to make thick slices. Mix AP flower, powdered sugar, baking soda, lemon zest, and a bit of oil for your batter.

Dunk those slices in your batter, and then, three at a time, throw them... well, you know what I mean... into your burning hot oil.

It will literally only take about a minute to minute and a half to cook them. When they turn golden brown on one side, you flip them over, and let 'em do the same on that side. Carefully remove them from the oil, placing them on a plate lined with paper towels to absorb some of the oil.

To plate, I simply dusted them with powdered sugar, and put on a mint sprig for some color. They were good, but the bad thing was with them resting, the apples, being super hot obviously, released their moisture into the breading, making it a bit soggy. The second plating was better, Jamie added some cinnamon sugar we had to the top, giving it a bit of spice and a little more sweetness.

Lessons learned:

Next time, I think I'll cut them a little thinner, and fry a little longer, to give the breading a bit more of a chance to stay crispy. Also, while we are trying to follow the recipes as much as possible, next time, definitely will be adding a bit more spice to the batter and possibly some more sugar. Yeah, it's a diabetic cook book, but still! Maybe a nice raspberry sauce for more color and a bit of flavor!

Herb-Stuffed Pork Tenderloin

pg. 121


I'm not really sure what possessed me to start out with a dish that required multiple techniques that I wasn't familiar with. But here we are, for better or worse.

The recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups of "shredded" romaine and 1/2 cup of fresh herbs. They listed a bunch of herbs to pick from, and didn't offer any suggestions or warnings as to which ones would add what flavor. Apparently I'm just supposed to know these things. I ended up using basil (from the balcony), dill, sage and parsley (also from the balcony). I learned quickly that sage smells like Thanksgiving, and dill smells like a Christmas tree.


I finally opened my Magic Bullet and used that to shred (ok, pulverize) the lettuce and the herbs. I used a lot of parsley for the sole purpose of cutting the super-strong herb flavors, since I don't really get a whole lot of flavor from parsley. The bullet wasn't as easy as a food processor probably would have been, but I enjoyed the process!

The first of my new experiences in cooking was the removing of excess fat from the tenderloin. Eww! I still don't like touching raw meat, and now I can add "slicing through fatty goo" and "getting it stuck under my nails" to the reasons I don't like it! But I got through it, butterflied the tenderloin, and pounded the crap out of it until I ended up with what was supposed to be a 13" x 8" rectangle.

Jamie's cooking motto? "Close enough!"

After smearing the tenderloin with dijon mustard and then the greens mixture, I had my first meltdown while attempting to roll the damn thing.

My first attempt at rolling ended with about half of the green stuff squishing out the far end. And of course, when I unrolled it, some ended up on the wrong side of the meat! I stomped my feet and whined about not cooking because it always ends up looking like dog food, and got generally pissy. This lasted basically through the rolling and the tying. Scott stood by and handed me lengths of plain unwaxed dental floss (because we couldn't find cooking twine at Publix). In the end, I put something that looked like it could possibly be edible on the rack and into the oven:





We decided to serve the pork with sweet potato chips (baked sweet potato coins). So when the tenderloin was finished, Scott put a sheet of sweet potatoes in the oven and baked them until they were soft in the middle and crisp on the edges.

The recipe also included a "dijon sauce" consisting of plain yogurt, mayo, dijon mustard and honey. It tasted like salad dressing when it was cold. After warming through, it tasted like warm salad dressing. We don't understand it, but it really went well with the pork. Here's the final dish:

The meat was delicious, and cooked beautifully. Sadly, the herb stuffing all ended up in the middle, instead of in a lovely meat-herb swirl like the picture. The herbs worked well with the meat, but were overpowering. If I were to make the recipe again, I'd probably only use 1/4 cup of herbs and 1 cup of lettuce.

Also, if I were to make the recipe again, I would remember that the probe thermometer has also been in a 375-degree oven and that I shouldn't grab it with my bare fingers. (thanks to Scott's quick thinking, some cold water and some fresh aloe, I think that the two fingers in question will be red and sore for a while but might not blister)

I'm contemplating having my half of the leftovers on a roll instead of heated up on a plate. The whole meat-roll-with-sauce instantly struck me as the middle of a darn good sandwich.

Learned:
* how to pound meat (giggle)
* how to use the Magic Bullet
* how to roll meat (need more practice)
* how to tie the roll
* not to touch hot things

Would I make it again? Yes, with some minor modifications.

Mojito Jell-o

I'm contemplating a new dessert to try out for Scott: Mojito Jell-o. How hard can it be, right? The primary ingredients of a mojito are rum, lime, mint, sugar and fizzy water, and we have most of those things in the house at any given moment. Here's the planned ingredients:

1 box of lime jell-o
1 big ol' handful of mint leaves, plus some for garnish
2/3 cup of fizzy water (refrigerated)
1/3 cup of rum (refrigerated)
slightly more than 1 cup of water

Note: mojitos are consumed through a straw for good reason: no one wants tiny bits of muddled mint leaf stuck in their teeth. Most people also don't want to chew on a salad mid-drink. With this in mind, muddling the mint leaves with sugar seems not the best idea. Instead, I'm going to add the mint leaves to the water before boiling it. My hope is that I'll end up with a nicely infused mint water strong enough to stand up to the lime jell-o.

Here goes the tentative instructions:

* Add mint leaves to water, bring to boil
* Leave mint leaves in hot water at least 5 minutes
* Strain mint leaves out, return water to boil
* Add 1 cup of water to Jell-o powder, stir until powder is dissolved
* Stir in rum and fizzy water
* Pour into ice cube tray
* Refrigerate until set

We have everything in the house right now except the lime Jell-o. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of Mojito Jell-o!